As you may know, I have been having an internal argument about whether I should go with a midwife in Waynesboro or stay with the Dr I have been seeing since the beginning of my pregnancy. I long for a 100% unmedicated natural birth. My Mother has volunteered to read books and play the role of substitute-doula if I would surrender to having my baby at the hospital in Hattiesburg with a functional NICU (just in case, of course). I am a creature of habit and thrive on routine. The process of transferring care stresses me out ever so slightly. I am dreadfully fearful that if I have my child under the care of the Dr that I will be pushed into medications when I am most vulnerable. You might would say I am overreacting, but I think this is rational behavior. This is weighing so heavy on my mind that I actually dreamed the entire night a few nights ago about labor and delivery.
I am not scared of a natural birth. I want to embrace it. I want to be able to feel the endorphin-rush during those last stages of labor. I want to know that my baby is being born into a natural, calm environment-totally free of medication. I know that I am strong enough to do this but I also know that if I am confined to a bed and expected to breathe through contractions while tied down and lying on my back that in a moment of weakness someone is going to adamantly try to convince me to take pain relief medications.
Unfortunately, birthing centers do not cater to women who want natural childbirth. Hospitals are understaffed and medical personnel has more patients than 1. Therefore, they are unable to stay with you and coach you through the process. I want a quiet, serene environment. I want an uninterrupted space where I can freely do as I need to work through my contractions and help my child into its journey into the world.
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