how dare you?

My allergies and sinuses have taken the best of me. I am going down quickly. If I can just get supper on the table then I am laying down.

house hunting and baby clothes

These are the two things weighing heavy on my mind. WP and I have thrown around the idea of buying a house for some time now. Now that he has a full time job and we are soon to have another addition to the household, we have decided now is the time to look. The house we had looked at in Clara that I fell in love with sold for $17,000 less than it's initial asking price. The inspector rated it 2nd on his list of houses he's ever inspected. It would've been a wonderful home for us, but apparently wasn't the right one. We have contacted the local realtor and plan on going to see what we can be preapproved for within the week. I would like to go tomorrow but probably will wait until Tuesday. WP doesn't have his check stub in yet but should get it Monday morning. Onto a lighter note...
I have began my quest for the cutest baby girl clothes ever! I have spend a whopping $17 on little Miss Adalia so far. She has 1 newborn onesie, 2 3-6 month onesies, 2 pair of 3-6 month shorts, a 3-6 month dress, and a 9 month dress. I can't wait to hit all the sales racks in every store I can find. I really hope to get her entire wardrobe off sales racks. I was so fortunate to have people give me hand-me-downs with Archer. I have a friend who said she's got some baby girl clothes I can have too. I can't wait to start washing in Dreft and smelling up the house like baby again!
I'm still reading my Hypnobirthing book and practicing relaxation techniques. I am really hoping for a wonderful labor and delivery. I refuse to say that is the ONLY way I will deliver, though. I do not want to be so worked up over it that I become distraught if it doesn't work out as planned. As long as my baby girl is born healthy I will be fine as wine!
Back to chores and cooking spaghetti for lunch for an under the weather 2 year old!

oh, baby

Yesterday I went shopping with Holli to

scatter brained...

I have no intentions of writing in an organized fashion. I want to bullet a few things and show a few pics (if I remember):

• I got up and cleaned this morning. I was out of bed at 8 and by 10 the dishes were washed, floor vacuumed, kitchen swept and mopped, and boxes are in the process of burning.
• Mom's 50th bday gift arrived. I'm thrilled. Can't wait to give it to her.
• I have a hair appt at 1 today. I'm taking Archer with me. Probably going to prove to be a mistake and I will probably never do that again.
• Archer saw that forest fire commercial with Bambi on it and continuously said, "I wanna watch deer." until I finally obliged and put Bambi in the DVD player. If I would've known he would've sat through a movie like this then I would've used this strategy months ago.
• Wayne County's first football game is tonight. WP will make his coaching debut. I'm so proud. We will be at that game rain or shine. As long as there is no lightening, we will be there. Archer has a little football jersey now that says "LOFTON" on the back and has the numbers 00 on it.
• I was 18 weeks pregnant yesterday. As of last night I began feeling HER move.
• By the way, did I mention that I was having a baby girl???? We're tickled pink! I had secretly already bought 2 little girl sun dresses at Walmart off the $1 rack. I didn't tell WP that until he got to see that it was a girl. Honestly, I had been praying for a little girl from before the moment of conception. The good Lord knew I needed to spend a paycheck or two on bows and panty hose.
• I want to go see my brother tomorrow but I don't think it's feasible. He has been at this prison for months now and I haven't seen him since May, when he was still in Vicksburg jail. I am off this weekend but I have plans tonight then Sunday afternoon I have to be at a baby shower I'm hosting. It would take me 3 hours to get to Dustin to see him for a while on Saturday. Maybe my next off weekend.
• I'm thinking about petitioning Brittany White out of Atlanta and back to MS. I feel like if I get enough people to sign then she'll HAVE to come back. She won't have a choice. I am NOT being irrational. (yes you are.) No I'm not! ahem...
• I need a flat iron but am too frugal to pay all that money for a good one. Anyone have a worn out good one that they want to sale to me for discounted price? I'll be glad to give you 50 bucks...but no more.

Ok, I guess I need to begin devising a plan to keep Archer entertained, situated, and out of the way during my hair appointment. Is it legal to duct tape your child to a chair for 20 minutes? No harm done other than the whole false imprisonment issue.

shameful supper

I had planned on cooking breakfast for supper tonight. I was going to go all out...pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, etc.. the whole nine yards. Well while I grocery shopped I ran across something. It became a craving and is now becoming dinner for my family. Prepare yourself:

We are having Spam sandwiches with chips and dip for supper. Ah... that's a secret I shouldn't have told. In my defense, it IS turkey spam.
Don't be jealous. We're gonna have turkey Spam sandwiches with toasted bread, olive oil mayo, lettuce, and tomato. Served with a side of a pickle (the kind you get a McAlisters) and some bean salso dip with tortilla chips.

My mouth is watering. Must run so I can stuff my face. It's good for the growing baby. (Excuses, excuses)

deep breathing

I am having to restrain myself to pulling the shower head out of the wall this morning. I got up and immediately cleaned my bathroom. I was so proud to have that daunting task completed so early in the day. Then IT happened! My shower head will not quit pouring out water. We've had this problem before and WP said it's because I tighten the knobs too tight. So for about 30 minutes I turned the shower on and sloooooowly turned it back off trying to find that exact spot to make the leaking stop. I cannot do it...and I am mad about it. I had to lay a towel on the floor to catch all the extra splashes and shut the door so I can't hear it running. That has tested my sanity much too early today.

Funday Sunday

Funday Sunday wasn't so fun afterall. This has been a rough weekend at work. I feel like I've ran a marathon (over the course of 3 days). These 36 work hours were...woo...bad is an understatement... maybe just horrid. I thank the good Lord that they are OVER! I love my job. I love being a nurse. I love my patients-okay not ALL of them but most. I love the majority of my coworkers. So what else could I ask of a job? Maybe good management. Yes, good management would be nice and seems like it'd be necessary. Necessary, it is not...obviously. I am not sure what is going to come of my working after baby number 2 gets here. WP and I would like for me to go PRN and work probably 2 days a week (12 hour shifts). When you are PRN you have a say over which shifts you can work. With WP coaching now our schedules conflict unbelievably. I do not trust the babysitter that keeps Archer to keep a newborn. I hated the way she tended to him when he was an infant. WP wants me to stay home with the kids. I love my job and want to work, but will willingly work a couple days a week vs a full time schedule. There is actually good money in PRN work. I can work less hours and make the same. The downfall to PRN work is there are no guaranteed hours, unfortunately.

Anyway, must find a hair dresser tomorrow to fix this awful haircut I paid for last week. Ish...

Haircut

My grandmother and my mother both say "I don't like my hair" at least as much as their other favorite phrases. It can't be cut, colored, or styled in a way that they like it. So what does a stylist do with that? I, on the other hand, am really easy to please when it comes to my hair. I generally sit down in the chair and say, "I don't really care what you do with it. Give me something cute...something that you think will look good." Today I walked into the Belk salon and told the girl exactly what I wanted instead of my usual. I said, "I want shoulder length hair with layers at the bottom and I want swooping bangs." The girl then asked, "Do you want your bangs straight across or swooping." I reiterated that I want them to swoop. An HOUR later I walked out of the salon with shoulder-length hair minus any layers and straight bangs on the right side of my forehead. I was really specific. Maybe that's why Mom and Honey never like their hair cuts. I probably won't ever be specific again if I can't get what I want in the first place. Anyway... I do like the length and it looks great straightened. Unfortunately, I do not have a straightener so this one-length cut will probably be atrocious at work in the morning. ;o)

Anyway.. I do like it now. I will go get layers put in later.

HYPNOBIRTHING!!!!!!!

I am SO VERY excited!! I ordered a book from Amazon called Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method. I read a good bit of this book when I was pregnant with Archer in hopes of having an all natural childbirth. But somewhere between nursing school and then battling preeclampsia, I lost the knowledge I had learned from the book. I am very excited about rereading the book and giving natural childbirth a valiant effort! I've also ordered another book that I look forward to reading. It should arrive tomorrow or Thursday. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (I can't express in words just how excited I am about this book!)

I had another ultrasound yesterday...looks like a girl still! Ultrasound technician said to come back in a week and a half to be sure. I am loving the free ultrasounds... and hope there's no negative side effects to having multiple ultrasounds.

Onto something other than pregnancy...ha. Wp and I have decided to stay in our TINY trailer as long as possible to save money for a house. I think we are going to go ahead and invest in some new furniture, though. We have been functioning with this ancient stove for several years now. It is a four-eye stove. One large eye and 3 small eyes. Only 2 eyes work, both are small. So we use an electric skillet for anything that we would use the large eye for. Ish... what a pain! I'm trying to downsize and space save. Our trailer is 14x60, 2 bedroom and 1 bathroom. The 1 bathroom only has a shower stall, no bath tub. But it's paid for. That's really the only up side. But that up side is a BIG one!

Wish me luck on all.....

continual dilemma

As you may know, I have been having an internal argument about whether I should go with a midwife in Waynesboro or stay with the Dr I have been seeing since the beginning of my pregnancy. I long for a 100% unmedicated natural birth. My Mother has volunteered to read books and play the role of substitute-doula if I would surrender to having my baby at the hospital in Hattiesburg with a functional NICU (just in case, of course). I am a creature of habit and thrive on routine. The process of transferring care stresses me out ever so slightly. I am dreadfully fearful that if I have my child under the care of the Dr that I will be pushed into medications when I am most vulnerable. You might would say I am overreacting, but I think this is rational behavior. This is weighing so heavy on my mind that I actually dreamed the entire night a few nights ago about labor and delivery.

I am not scared of a natural birth. I want to embrace it. I want to be able to feel the endorphin-rush during those last stages of labor. I want to know that my baby is being born into a natural, calm environment-totally free of medication. I know that I am strong enough to do this but I also know that if I am confined to a bed and expected to breathe through contractions while tied down and lying on my back that in a moment of weakness someone is going to adamantly try to convince me to take pain relief medications.

Unfortunately, birthing centers do not cater to women who want natural childbirth. Hospitals are understaffed and medical personnel has more patients than 1. Therefore, they are unable to stay with you and coach you through the process. I want a quiet, serene environment. I want an uninterrupted space where I can freely do as I need to work through my contractions and help my child into its journey into the world.