poor pitiful me..

I. MISS. MY. FELLAS!! I want them to come home. I don't mean I want them to come home tomorrow night like they're planning. I mean I want them home NOW. I feel like Verucca on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when I say that.

I listened to the baby's fetal heart tones at work today. ;o) What a beautiful sound. I cannot wait until I can feel it move. That's such a great feeling. So far I have been feeling pretty good. Those 1st trimester symptoms are slowly waning. With Archer I was such a comfortable, happy pregnant woman once I hit that second trimester.

I am really beginning to worry and even maybe have some guilt, though. I spend A LOT of time with Archer. We read books all day long. At bed time I rock him and love on him either until he falls asleep or until I'm ready to go to bed. If I get ready to go to bed before he falls asleep then I take him to his bed and I sing a set of songs that I have been singing him since the day he was born. I sing You are my sunshine, twinkle twinkle little star, Amazing Grace, Seek Ye First, and the Butterbean song. I just can't stand the thought of him thinking that I don't have time for him anymore. I don't want him to be starving for attention. Will I have enough arms, lap space, and energy for a newborn and a very loving 2 year old? I know I will have enough love to go around, I don't question that at all. I am worried. I know these worries are going to turn into pure fear once my due date begins to rapidly approach.

I am also really hoping to have the chance of a completely natural delivery with this one. I wanted that so badly with Archer but my high blood pressure didn't allow it. My Dr has informed me that since I had a reaction from the epidural with Archer that I will not be able to receive one with this one. I never wanted an epidural with Archer to begin with. Once the Magnesium AND Pitocin infusions began I was out of sorts. I basically lost control at about 6 cm and begged for something for the pain. I really would love to experience a birth with NO drugs. We'll see how all that goes. Hopefully I'm still about 28-29 weeks away from that!

Back to work at 6:30 AM then when I get off my fellas will be here to greet me. YESSSS!