cheese toast, my enemy

I still have indigestion from the cheese toast I ate this morning at 8:00. Quite frankly, I do not like it one bit.

scatter brained...

I have no intentions of writing in an organized fashion. I want to bullet a few things and show a few pics (if I remember):

• I got up and cleaned this morning. I was out of bed at 8 and by 10 the dishes were washed, floor vacuumed, kitchen swept and mopped, and boxes are in the process of burning.
• Mom's 50th bday gift arrived. I'm thrilled. Can't wait to give it to her.
• I have a hair appt at 1 today. I'm taking Archer with me. Probably going to prove to be a mistake and I will probably never do that again.
• Archer saw that forest fire commercial with Bambi on it and continuously said, "I wanna watch deer." until I finally obliged and put Bambi in the DVD player. If I would've known he would've sat through a movie like this then I would've used this strategy months ago.
• Wayne County's first football game is tonight. WP will make his coaching debut. I'm so proud. We will be at that game rain or shine. As long as there is no lightening, we will be there. Archer has a little football jersey now that says "LOFTON" on the back and has the numbers 00 on it.
• I was 18 weeks pregnant yesterday. As of last night I began feeling HER move.
• By the way, did I mention that I was having a baby girl???? We're tickled pink! I had secretly already bought 2 little girl sun dresses at Walmart off the $1 rack. I didn't tell WP that until he got to see that it was a girl. Honestly, I had been praying for a little girl from before the moment of conception. The good Lord knew I needed to spend a paycheck or two on bows and panty hose.
• I want to go see my brother tomorrow but I don't think it's feasible. He has been at this prison for months now and I haven't seen him since May, when he was still in Vicksburg jail. I am off this weekend but I have plans tonight then Sunday afternoon I have to be at a baby shower I'm hosting. It would take me 3 hours to get to Dustin to see him for a while on Saturday. Maybe my next off weekend.
• I'm thinking about petitioning Brittany White out of Atlanta and back to MS. I feel like if I get enough people to sign then she'll HAVE to come back. She won't have a choice. I am NOT being irrational. (yes you are.) No I'm not! ahem...
• I need a flat iron but am too frugal to pay all that money for a good one. Anyone have a worn out good one that they want to sale to me for discounted price? I'll be glad to give you 50 bucks...but no more.

Ok, I guess I need to begin devising a plan to keep Archer entertained, situated, and out of the way during my hair appointment. Is it legal to duct tape your child to a chair for 20 minutes? No harm done other than the whole false imprisonment issue.

HYPNOBIRTHING!!!!!!!

I am SO VERY excited!! I ordered a book from Amazon called Hypnobirthing: The Mongan Method. I read a good bit of this book when I was pregnant with Archer in hopes of having an all natural childbirth. But somewhere between nursing school and then battling preeclampsia, I lost the knowledge I had learned from the book. I am very excited about rereading the book and giving natural childbirth a valiant effort! I've also ordered another book that I look forward to reading. It should arrive tomorrow or Thursday. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! (I can't express in words just how excited I am about this book!)

I had another ultrasound yesterday...looks like a girl still! Ultrasound technician said to come back in a week and a half to be sure. I am loving the free ultrasounds... and hope there's no negative side effects to having multiple ultrasounds.

Onto something other than pregnancy...ha. Wp and I have decided to stay in our TINY trailer as long as possible to save money for a house. I think we are going to go ahead and invest in some new furniture, though. We have been functioning with this ancient stove for several years now. It is a four-eye stove. One large eye and 3 small eyes. Only 2 eyes work, both are small. So we use an electric skillet for anything that we would use the large eye for. Ish... what a pain! I'm trying to downsize and space save. Our trailer is 14x60, 2 bedroom and 1 bathroom. The 1 bathroom only has a shower stall, no bath tub. But it's paid for. That's really the only up side. But that up side is a BIG one!

Wish me luck on all.....

continual dilemma

As you may know, I have been having an internal argument about whether I should go with a midwife in Waynesboro or stay with the Dr I have been seeing since the beginning of my pregnancy. I long for a 100% unmedicated natural birth. My Mother has volunteered to read books and play the role of substitute-doula if I would surrender to having my baby at the hospital in Hattiesburg with a functional NICU (just in case, of course). I am a creature of habit and thrive on routine. The process of transferring care stresses me out ever so slightly. I am dreadfully fearful that if I have my child under the care of the Dr that I will be pushed into medications when I am most vulnerable. You might would say I am overreacting, but I think this is rational behavior. This is weighing so heavy on my mind that I actually dreamed the entire night a few nights ago about labor and delivery.

I am not scared of a natural birth. I want to embrace it. I want to be able to feel the endorphin-rush during those last stages of labor. I want to know that my baby is being born into a natural, calm environment-totally free of medication. I know that I am strong enough to do this but I also know that if I am confined to a bed and expected to breathe through contractions while tied down and lying on my back that in a moment of weakness someone is going to adamantly try to convince me to take pain relief medications.

Unfortunately, birthing centers do not cater to women who want natural childbirth. Hospitals are understaffed and medical personnel has more patients than 1. Therefore, they are unable to stay with you and coach you through the process. I want a quiet, serene environment. I want an uninterrupted space where I can freely do as I need to work through my contractions and help my child into its journey into the world.

doctors, doctors, and maybe doulas!

Update on WP:
We finally got in to see a gastroenterologist yesterday. He is thinking that the surgeon who performed WP's EGD and colonoscopy overlooked an ulcer. WP had lab work yesterday which showed that he's still anemic but not enough so to need any iron tablets. He is going on 3 separate days in August to have further testing done. The 1st test he's going to have will be a Meckel's Scan which will detect whether or not he has a Meckel's Diverticulum which is something that is present at birth and can cause significant blood loss. This scan is an xray and noninvasive. The following week he will be having a repeat EGD, which is the scope of the upper GI system that will show from mouth to stomach. The week after that he will be having a repeat colonoscopy, which is the scope of the lower GI system that goes from rectum to top of large intestine. He will have to do that awful clear liquid diet and colon prep again for the last procedure. If all of this is inconclusive then he will do the capsule camera. That is a camera in the form of a pill that records the entire GI tract as it travels from mouth to rectum...sorry if this is too much info. Nurses never have too much info! Ha! The capsule camera will show the small intestine which is not able to be seen on the upper GI scope or the lower GI scope.

On a lighter note, WP is interviewing with the head football coach/athletic director of Wayne County High School tomorrow morning @ 9:00. Prayers requested! This would be an awesome place for him to start his coaching career. Coach Boyles is known nationally for his talent and WP would love nothing better than to learn from the best of the best. School starts next Thursday here so this will be very last minute. If he gets this job we can stay in our paid-for trailer and save money to buy a house when we're ready.

Update on my Dr appointment:
I went for my 15 week checkup today. I heard that precious heartbeat again. It clocked in at 150 beats a minute. The Dr said the baby is growing fantastically when he examined my belly. I have lost 2 more pounds but he was not concerned. My dehydrated is resolved, thank goodness. He thinks my headaches may be stemming from caffeine withdrawals, even though I gave the caffeine up before I had a positive pregnancy test. I think it's hormones! I go back in 6 weeks for an ultrasound. I am currently trying to contact the radiology program at Jones County Junior College for a free ultrasound performed by the radiology students. I know several people who have gone between 14 and 16 weeks of pregnancy and found out the baby's sex. I'm ready to know! I need to hit these back to school sales for baby clothes!

Doulas:
A friend of mine referred me to a doula she knows. A doula is kind of like a labor coach. People who use doulas have a much lower need for pain medication because the doula is there to help them use different approaches to the pain. I've emailed the lady but am unsure of whether I actually want to hire her or not. We'll see...

Off to work tomorrow and for the rest of the weekend. boo.